What’s a “Shirtain”?

To help with boredom on long road trips, Chris and I create little games to play on the way. Aside from buying a big box of Jelly Belly’s and guessing the flavors (which Leah is much better at than Chris!) and counting how many signs or restaurants of a certain kind we see along the way, we’ve started to invent new words and definitions for things. We’ve been doing it so often that we’ve decided to dedicate a whole blog category to it! This will be an ongoing post in which others are free to add their own made up words to.

First word: “Shirtains”. When an individual will use sheets or shirts as curtains in their windows. Often used by lazy college frat boys or individuals who live in trailors or “trouses” (see definition below).

“Trouse”: When someone decides to add an addition on to their trailor to make it look more house-like; for instance adding a porch, a master bedroom sweet, or an above ground swimmin’ pool. Often this new addition will lead to skimping in other areas of house upkeep–hence the usage of “shirtains”.

“Nass-crack”. If ,at a Nascar event, you chance to become the unlucky sap who is downstream of some heavy buttcrack viewage–Big Bertha’s thong might be showing from her low-riders, or BillyBob decided to skip underpants and join the plumbing profession. That, my friends, would be the “Nass-crack”. Will often cause visual trauma.

“Placist”. A form of prejudice involved with where people come from. Also known as, “y’aint from around here, are ya?”. A lot of times this is when an individual makes fun of someone who comes from the South, he or she is being “placist”.

Twinsington’s Syndrome (we were gonna call it “TSS” but those damn toxic shock people stole it!): A very heinous form of fashion adultery in which couples wear creepily similar clothing on a daily basis. We’re not talking about matching tats here, we’re talking shirts, pants, dresses…the whole 9 yards. If you see couple’s wearing identical holiday sweaters or matching fannypacks and t-shirts that say “I had fun in the Poconos”, you know that you ‘ve encountered this disease in it’s most acute form and you should notify the fashion authorities immediately. Next thing you know they’ll be finishing each other’s sentences and singing campfire songs about Schnauzers.

One thought on “What’s a “Shirtain”?

  1. Donnie Moore says:

    That’s not exactly what Shiratins are. Somehow the invention has already been talked about. Somehow Mr. Jones has heard of it and by the way he uses the name in his column imlpys that he is the inventor. That would be FALSE!! Don’t worry, I’m keeping an eye on it…..THANKS for the curiosity!!!

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